Looking back at 2004..

This is gg to be the last time i'm mentioning 2004.

Jus a short post to remind myself wad happened in 2004 tt made it such an undesirable year, and why i hated it so much.

Of course there were good times too, but i choose not to mention them now, for the sake of only reminding me of the bad times, which, i think, is a very unwise thing to do. But being the stupid me, this is the kinda things i do.

2004 started with me having a short tiff with someone. Well, tt was wat i wrote in my diary, but i cant remember wat the quarrel was about. As mentioned in the previous blog, tt was an omen.

After tt, my ex bf left for thailand for some exercise, which was supposed to be very prestigous, but to me, it was jus a load of bullshit. Somemore he wont b ard on v. day, which means i would be as gd as being single. He went away for 3weeks, so i was lonely and sad for 3 weeks. Yes i know it's not as if he's not coming back, but well, at tt time, i was jus worried and sad.

Then.. bad news started coming.. Mabel's mommy passed away.. It was really a tough period of her.. I could see she was really devastated, but she tried not to do tt in front of us. Like she could still say lame stuffs, though i could see tt she forced it and given a choice, would have jus wanted me to get lost. It was the first time tt i realised how impt family is, esp my mom.

After tt was the exams.. I had 3 papers on 3 blardy consecutive days! I can still remember it was FM, OB den stats. It was really the most torturous exam i ever ever had.. For the whole week, i wake up at 8 every morning, study study till 12 plus, eat lunch for half hr, den study study study.. nap 5 min, den study study.. till dinner time prob rest 45 min.. den study study study till 2 plus.

I can still remember vividly how i felt like when it was about 12 midnight. My eyelids started to get heavy, i could hardly read 2 sentences w/o closing my eyes.. it was really bad. And i studied till i cried. So helpless then... And in the end?? study so hard only got one A. Wad the hell. (ok i noe an A is like god sent but hey, i put in so much effort and it's only an A? I hope you understand ok.)

den hols.. den sch reopened.. den i became single.

Mid semester, Ruishan's grandma passed away. Though she didnt show as much emotions as Mabel, I definitely know tt it ain't easy when you lose a loved one. It's like.. they are gone forever.. breaking up seemed so insignificant to me back then. Wats a breakup compared to losing a loved one? At least i still know he is alive n kicking somewhere. While when u lose a loved one, you can only wonder where they are..

After tt was the exams. Almost everyone's papers ended before mine. So pissed.

Unexpectedly, it was my turn to lose someone very dear to me. At tt times, i jus couldnt believe it. i jus couldnt understand why all these had to happen to my and my friends in less than a yr. There were many regrets, many whys, many hatred.

In dec, exams results were released and i did really well. It was sth like a consolation to me i guess. Prob god's way of telling me tt life isnt ill-treating me.

Following the release of exam results was subj registration. It was really sucky cos i couldnt get the time table i wanted! Argh.

And then, the worst thing happened. The tsunami tt killed thousands. Why? Why must god do all these? Do these innocent ppl deserve to die like tt? And why must it happen to poor countries? And to tourists who had to perish when they thought they will have a wonderful holiday? And to cast a shadow on those who survived? It really made me ponder abt life, and how fragile it could be.

Well, the year finally ended. I look forward to a happy 2005.