Full of negative feelings!

Argh. The only word tt describes how i feel now.

Let's start from yesterday.

As i was walking towards the train station, newpaper caught my eye. The headlines read 'Singapore women find out if men flirt'. Something like tt. It got me real curious, so i bought a copy.

As i waited for the train, i read. Apparently, singapore women are engaging female PIs to spot check on their bfs/husbands-to-be.

The PI acts as a 'honeytrapper', meaning tt they will dress up, look pretty, try to catch the guy's attention, den smile at the him. If he approaches her, talk to her, asks for her number, den the PI will report everything to the gf.

Note tt the PI only smiles, talk to the guy. She does not lead him on, nor touch him or watsoever.

So, the model acted as a honeytrapper at a pub at Suntec. Out of 8 guys she smiled at, 5 approached her, one asked for sex and the rest all asked for her no. and to seee her again.

Wow! you must be wondering to yourself. At least 3 guys didnt fall for her trap ma. You think, not all guys are bad wat.. there're some faithful ones.. THEN YOU ARE BLOODY WRONG.

2 guys were with their friends, which means tt they were prob paiseh to appraoch a girl when they have their frens ard. Afterall, they promised to keep one another company, not keep another girl company. The third one was with his gf. Unless he's retarded, he wont appraoch the model for sure.

DO YOU KNOW I WAS, AND STILL AM, FREAKNG DISGUSTED BY MEN? ALL THE MEN WHO APPRAOCHED THE MODEL CLAIMED THEY WERE AVAILABLE, N REFUSED TO ADMIT IF THEY WERE MARRIED. AND ALL 8 WERE EITHER LAWYERS OR DOCTORS. WHAT THE HELL I DIDNT KNOW SINGAPORE GOT SO MANY LAWYERS AND DOCTORS. AND DOCTORS/LAWYERS, WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A SENSE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, ARE DOING SOMETHING BEHIND THEIR SPOUSES' BACK? TALK ABT BEING ELITE!

Then, i asked myself, will i do this to my husband-to-be before we get married? Just to check if he is faithful to me?

I don't think i can answer the question, cos
(1) I havent decide when to marry
(2) I dunno who to marry
(3) I dun hav anyone in mind whom i want to marry
(4) I shant be a smart ass and comment on sth tt i have not experienced before.

I probably will say no now, afterall, i should trust the man i marry, and most importantly, i'm afraid of truths. But who knows? I might grow up to b a power woman, a woman in control of her feelings and life. Then i will prob investigate my husband-to-be.

Let's go back to how disgusted I am with men. (sorry ying wai perhaps you want to close this window) I cant believe tt men are actually THAT lecherous. Yes, i know if men are single, their nature is to flirt n all.. but if u are attached?? worse still, married?? How can you do this to your wife/gf? Doesnt you conscience bite at you??Dont you wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, a nightmare in which u hurt ur wife deeply, and cause her much saddness?

No lor, men are only afraid tt their wife find out because their wives to divorce them, take half of their wealth, and leave them alone. You think these men care abt their wives feeling hurt upset n all? NO. if they cared, they wouldnt have strayed.

Is it jus singaporean men, or men in general? I always feel tt singapore men are a desperate bunch. The news article jus confirmed it.

I really have ZERO ZILCH faith in men. I dont think a faithful man exist (ok i shall not 一竹杆打翻整艘船.(Mabel correct me if i used the phrase wrongly) If even he exist, i will never meet him. I'm destined to have a hard life.

Am i just being skeptical? paranoid? insecure? out of my mind?

Perhaps all of the above.

I dont know how to trust men again. I dont think i'm being feminist or wad, but, I used to think guys are well, sexually more oriented, that's all. Yes they love porn, naked women blah blah blah.. but i didnt expect men to stray like anything. And my level of disgust isnt tt of a normal women. My disgust has somewhat make me despise guys in general, and make me believe tt the world is prob better off without guys.

Anyway, this is to all guys, (tho i wonder if guys can still continue reading) Please, if you have decided tt she's the one, love her with all your heart. It's okay to look at sexy woman or even to oogle at them. But keep your hands to yourself. She loves you with all her heart, it's only right you love her back, wholeheartedly. Do you really have the heart to treat her like tt? Doesnt it pain you to see her in despair? What has she done to deserve such treatment from you? What wrong did she do? All jus because she loved you? Please be fair to the one you love.

Probably i haven meet any good man yet. Maybe when i meet one, the disgust will jus fade.

Sigh.