Heart Breaks and Break ups
Being a grown up now, I often hear about and talk about friends breaking up, betrayal in a relationship, unhappiness with the other half etc etc.. The one tt I hate to talk about the most is betrayal. Being a 过来人 myself, surviving a betrayal ain't an easy task.
Feelings of anger, confusion, self doubt, hatred etc all mixed together. The only questions tt goes throught the head is "Why?". Suddenly, 24 hours a day seems way too much. Sleeping the time away isn't a solution too, because dreams bring us back to the happy times and when we wake up, the sudden hit from reality is really too much to bear.
It is really impossible to understand how betrayal feels like. Unless you've been through it, you will not be able to comprehend that complicated feeling and the terrible effects of it. Being an outsider, it is always easy to say "Oh man he was such a jerk! So what if he was nice to you in the past? The fact remains that he betrayed you and if he really cared for you, he wouldnt have done that!" A thought that makes perfect sense. Yet, fond memories are often stronger than logic. Day after day after day, a betrayed person is constantly at battle with his/her own thoughts. Trying to accept reality and yet, hoping to run away from it.
You may also tell ur friend "I think you should go out with your friends more often and keep yourself occupied." But making a trip outdoors isn't an easy task at all. Everywhere is images of you and him together. The lift lobby, the bus stop, the food court, Orchard, Suntec, the beach.... everything. There wont be a single place where you wont be reminded of him. Tell me how can you recover from the betrayal when you see him everywhere?
It takes both hands to clap. In a relationship, both parties are usually responsible for whatever that happens. The same goes for betrayal? I dunno. Until this day, I am still thinking about this question. But from what I see, many times, betrayal happens when the other half is too nice. This fuels the desire for the other partner to do sth naughty.
I really hate to see the people around me getting betrayed. Or maybe I should say that I hate to see people being betrayed in general. So friends, please know that your actions affect the people around you. And what comes around goes around.
Feelings of anger, confusion, self doubt, hatred etc all mixed together. The only questions tt goes throught the head is "Why?". Suddenly, 24 hours a day seems way too much. Sleeping the time away isn't a solution too, because dreams bring us back to the happy times and when we wake up, the sudden hit from reality is really too much to bear.
It is really impossible to understand how betrayal feels like. Unless you've been through it, you will not be able to comprehend that complicated feeling and the terrible effects of it. Being an outsider, it is always easy to say "Oh man he was such a jerk! So what if he was nice to you in the past? The fact remains that he betrayed you and if he really cared for you, he wouldnt have done that!" A thought that makes perfect sense. Yet, fond memories are often stronger than logic. Day after day after day, a betrayed person is constantly at battle with his/her own thoughts. Trying to accept reality and yet, hoping to run away from it.
You may also tell ur friend "I think you should go out with your friends more often and keep yourself occupied." But making a trip outdoors isn't an easy task at all. Everywhere is images of you and him together. The lift lobby, the bus stop, the food court, Orchard, Suntec, the beach.... everything. There wont be a single place where you wont be reminded of him. Tell me how can you recover from the betrayal when you see him everywhere?
It takes both hands to clap. In a relationship, both parties are usually responsible for whatever that happens. The same goes for betrayal? I dunno. Until this day, I am still thinking about this question. But from what I see, many times, betrayal happens when the other half is too nice. This fuels the desire for the other partner to do sth naughty.
I really hate to see the people around me getting betrayed. Or maybe I should say that I hate to see people being betrayed in general. So friends, please know that your actions affect the people around you. And what comes around goes around.
posted by Tweety Bird at 3:35 PM
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