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Monday, March 27, 2006

25th March 06 - One of my Happiest Days with my Friends

My wonderful uni friends celebrated my 22nd birthday earlier, on the 25th. Our plan was to go pepper lunch to have lunch, and den go KBOX. but because me and mabel had to rush off for the 4th JCRC dinner, we didn't hav time for singing. which was, a blessing in disguise. ;p

I'm not so sure if the guys enjoyed themselves.. but me, rs, mabel, 31 n jasmine sure had loads of fun!! After lunch, I suggested taking neoprints tog, cos its kinda rare that me, mabel, rs, tonghao, 31, jiahong, eric and jasmine will go out tog! so we saw this new n big machine.. and decided to try it out! Oh man we had sooo much fun!!!


Look at us!! The new backdrops keeps scrolling down like the OPH projector screens, abd blocks me, eric, jiahong and th!!! it was so chaotic and we were desperately trying to move the backdrop to the back, while 31 happily posed nicely. eric too busy trying to get the backdrop out of the way tt we cant even see his face. Mabel and jasmine too busy laughing to pose.



Finally.. a shot with all of us in the pic. From the decorations tt we made, wont u think we are like 17-ers? Again, the 4 girls in the foreground have already posed nicely, disregarding the war-with-the-backdrops tt was ongoing at the back.



We were unfamiliar with the operations of the machine.. so we ended up not decorating many pieces. Those that we put in effort to decorate ended up as the small ones... -_-''' Look at the lower row of photos.. our eyes say "Cut along the dotted line"...

So... we took again.. this time round, the guys buay tahan liao, they didnt want to join in. And therefore, the shots turned out nicer. muahahahhaha.

We saw this pose on the poster outisde the machine.. and decided to learn from those kawaii japnese girls! Very kawaiiii leh! haahahhaha



You tell me pretty or not?! Hahahha neoprints really make girls look so nice prettier! (My arm looks scarily thin....and my fingers scarily long n skinny like a witch's.)

Happy happy day! And i feel so youngggg~

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Sth u prolly wont b interested in reading

It is hard to understand how a person who has been ditched feels. Because as a third party, you cannot feel how it is like to go through a failed relationship. For some ppl, they have had several boyfriends/girlfriends before, and they managed to move on after some time. There are some ppl who hold on to the failed relationship too much, blame too many things for the failed relationship, and cannot let go. I don't know if it is fair to say that only ppl who put in their hearts and souls into a rs will feel this way, cos some ppl are jus very 潇洒 in their own ways. 拿得起就得放得下.

But there's one thing that i believe: As you grow older, it gets harder and harder to let go of rs, for plenty of reasons, like afraid tt old alr cannot find someone better.. too used to a person alr.. too comfortable in a rs to find someonelse better.. or simply jus not used to being single. Hey, silly it may sound, but ask ard and you'll know how true this is.

I have been through a failed relationship, and kinda lead an "un-yingying" life for abt.. 1/2 a yr? I know tt I am a person who views love very seriously. To the extent that if I know that this guy isn't suitable for me, I will never go out with him even if I feel i like him and I know he likes me! That's how difficult I am. And which is the reason why in my entire life, I have only gone on solo dates with 2 guys only. Hahah I even find eating lunch with eric in school weird if rs weren't ard!

Sorry i digressed. Yes a failed rs.. It is really not easy to handle, and during the few months following a break-up, I couldn't stop asking myself what was it that I did wrong, and why did i deserve to go thru all these even tho i was a good gf, and why didnt the other party has to go through the agony i went through. As you read this, you probably won't understand. Well, like wad I've said earlier, you've gotta experience it first. Ok continue. All sorts of thoughts went through my mind.. incoherent ones like suicide? and even revenge, although i didnt know how i was gg to do tt and I knew i didnt wan to die. But all these thoughts jus flashed across my mind. I couldnt bear to leave my house, for every corner holds memories. I couldnt even listen to ballads or watch tv! The world was jus a sad place.

At the same time, I brought a lot of pain and saddness to the ppl around me.. my friends.. my family, esp my mom. But they were all supportive.. and tried to lead me out of the darkness. Initially, it helped. I felt happy when i busy with them. but when i enter the solitude of my room, all the saddness and cruelty jus came crashing down on me again. It's like drowning. One moment u managed to raise above the water surface to gasp for air, but the next moment, you get pulled down again. Someone tries to pull u up.. but u sick in again cos your hands are too slippery. The cylce repeats.. until one fine day, you are determined to thread water even if it costs your life. And it is that day, you start life afresh.

I never managed to thread water long enough. Everytime i managed to do so for some time, a jellyfish comes by and sting my legs. The last time I tried, someone pulled me out of the water - I didn't do it on my own.

Recently, my friend broke up with her bf. Like me, she couldnt get over it. She continued to keep in touch with her bf, altho as friends. One day, she did sth terrible and her ex jus decided that he doesn not wan to talk to her anymore. She was v devastated. She called, msned, smsed, but no replies at all. How terrible is it to be ignored? She was at it for 3 months.. At one point, I even advised her to see a counseller to seek help.

One morning, she woke up and jus snapped out of it. She jus suddenly realised tt her bf was gone, and nothing will brg him back, and she finally came to terms with tt fact. It was jus like waking up from a nightmare - all that she felt was relief. She threw away all the flowers, and kept away all the gifts and photos. She changed her financial adviser (who was her bf) and ended all relationships she had with him: love, friend, business. And she jus deleted him from her msn list. And now, she is leading a carefree life, a life that she deserves. I really salut her. If ever one day i get ditched again, I swear i wan to be like her.

Ok end of story.
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

WoooHoooooo~

Finally I am done with my FYP!! Handed it in this afternoon.. after nights of editing, reading and re-reading, refering to countless readings, I have to say I am so proud that we managed to write 65 pages of crap on China. Come on ask me anything about China! Anything! Muahahahhahahaaaa

Now that I can't FuckYourPussy anymore (quoted from TYW one hor.), I am of course very free! I reached my room at abt 7.. and I've been slacking since then! watched my favourite 蜡笔小新, and surfed the net! Such simple pleasures of life, yet the last time I did this was eons ago! Cant even remember when! And I've been so deprived of online games.. sigh. But i'm gg to play to my heart's content later.

I was reading my friends' blogs and I saw this quiz that Andrea took.. I couldn't resist taking it hahah. I dunno what came over me to take quizzes cos I've always feel that these quizzes are so not accurate n a waste of time. But i'm feeling kinda happy now that I have taken it! Go take it too!

HASH(0x8e08c5c)
Cinderella

Which Disney Heroine Are You?
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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Watching the world pass him by

The gentle wind blows his thinning hair. He sits down on the garden chair, and looks over the fence. He rests his elbow on the stone table. The cars whizzed by, the drivers busy rushing for their next appointment. He wonders if any drivers has so much glanced in his direction and noticed his existence. Probably not. The world is too busy to stop for moment for him.

When was the last time he got out of the home and walked in the streets? When was the last time he had a purpose in life? All these he can't remember. He only remembers being alone. Oh yes, his wife. Where is she? He tries to remember, but all that he manages to see is his wife looking at and that saddness in her eyes that never seemed to go away.

He hears a young, male voice in the background. He spins around, quicker than he thought he could manage. The excitement and hope builds up. His heart leaped, and then he felt disappointment. It is his friend's son. He turns back again to look at the traffic, feeling the usual feelings. He knows these feelings too well. He tried not to brood over it, he knows that after a while, the feeling will subside. His son... where is he? Is he doing fine? Does he already have another child?

He feels beads of sweat collecting at his temples. The sun is starting to get hot. He walks slowly back to his room. It is nearing lunchtime and the nurse should be coming soon.

Outside, the people continue to go about doing their things, but time has stopped for him since he stepped into the home. He looked out of the grilled window, watching the world pass him by.
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I have not blogged in a long while

It has been so long since I last blogged that I forgotten what was my user ID! OMGG
And these days I seem to have so many online accounts.. ebay.. blogger.. email.. internet banking.. and all the countless online job applications that i applied for. I'm old and my memory is failing me =(
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