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Saturday, November 20, 2004

New vs Old.

All of us like new things.

New handphones, new clothes, new shoes, new girlfriends.

Then the old are just being discarded.

Lemme tell you the story of a pencil that i read when i was young.

There once lived little boy, who came from a not so well-to-do family.Everyday when he goes home from school, he will walk past a stationary shop.

Sitting in the window display case is a pencil. A pencil that is not very expensive, and definitely not the best. But the little boy jus loved it a lot. He really wants the pencil, however, he knows that he cannot afford it. He was determined to own it, so he saves up his pocket money diligently.

The pencil sees the little boy peering at her everyday. She knows that the little boy likes her a lot, and she really wish to have an owner who will cherish her. Everyday, she prays that the little boy will buy her.

One day, he finally did. The pencil felt so happy sitting in the little boy's bag. And the boy was of cos elated to own the pencil. It was like a dream come true for the both of them.

Afterall, a pencil is a pencil. Her lifespan is limited. As the days passes by, the pencil got shorter and shorter. The little boy realised he no longer like the pencil anymore. She is short, dirty and useless.

Months later, a new pencil joined the little boy's pencil case. She was a birthday present. The pencil felt a premonition. The next day, the little boy chucked her into the drawer. The drawer was dark cold and damp. The pencil never saw the boy again.

I'm not saying that we should not buy new things. But spare a thought for their feelings. Wouldn't it be nice if the little boy could look at the pencil once in a while. But it's human nature to forget the old when they have the new. Life sucks.
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Thursday, November 18, 2004

Quote from a friend.

她哭泣,不是因为她难过。 而是她有话,却很难说。

How true.

---

你知道吗

爱你并不容易

还需要很多勇气

是天意吧

好多话说不出去

就是怕你负担不起

你相信吗

这一生遇见你

是上辈子我欠你的

是天意吧

让我爱上你才

又让你离我而去
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Monday, November 15, 2004

Sometimes, it's too late to change certain things..

Life seldom goes the way we want it

Very often, we try hard to get something that we want,

but our hard work dont get paid off.

Like the show, The Champions.

Yilin tried so hard to get what she wanted (yes she did it the wrong way)..

Though none of you out there will side with her,

Have you ever thought about the agony she is in?

She is kind by nature, but, circumstances forced her to do things she never thought of doing.

Even if she had used the correct ways, do you think she will get wat she always wanted?

She jus wanted something, but Gof refused to give it to her.

Life is so unfair.

In reality, some people dont even make any mistakes,

Yet they are punished for it.

They try hard to win back what they have lost

(despite the fact that they didnt cause the loss)

No matter how hard they try, they cant get it back.

Then, they still have to suffer the pain of the loss.

And the realisation that they did everything but couldnt get it back.

2004 made me realise how realistic and how selfish this world is.

It made me a very pessismistic person.

Suddenly, it seems that we are all better off dead.
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Saturday, November 13, 2004

My worst Saturday ever...

13.11.04.

I will forever remember this day.

Because I am stuck in hall studying Economic Theory I.

While all of my friends (except Ruishan) is here sharing the agony with me.

Just now, i looked up the windows.. realised tt most were pitch black.

Suddenly, the loneliness set in..

I miss my father mother and sisters.

I feel so alone and sad.

And scared.

I am the only one around on my level.

Gasp.
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I cant stand this!

I'm super super pissed off now and super super bushuang. I cant stand it. My head is filled with anger!!!! I needa let off steam but there's no outlet for me to do so! My insides are boiling!! I'm fuming fuming fuming fuming. Anger + Hurt = ??? The feeling is undescribable (however you spell that). I jus needa get a hold onto my feelings man. GAWD.
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Thursday, November 11, 2004

我也想。。。

I just read my friend's blog.

She has attained nirvana.

When will it be my turn?

A year from now?

I havent even wake up my idea yet.

当局者迷,旁观者清。
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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Happy blog

Let's blog about sth happy for once.

It's rare for me to be in a good mood.

Dun ask me why, cos i dont know!

Nothing happened today actually...

Probably because i was alone that's why i felt happy.

Alone at NIE studying in the canteen.

Never open my mouth for about 4 hours.

Memories of studying for exams last sem came back..

How i always go to the canteen alone to study.

But then and now, there's a difference.

A difference that only I know and can feel.

Sounds like a sad blog again.

But i believe i'm happy today.

Lalalalalala.
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Getting the best of both worlds

Mankind are greedy by nature.

We are never satisfied with what we have, and are always hoping for more.

As such, we want the best out of everything. We want the best of both worlds.

Is that possible? Not all the time.

One day, I was playing 'Snake' on my hp.

For every 5 apples eaten, there'll will be a bonus tt entitles the player to more points.

It only appears for a while.

The sooner you eat it, the more points you gain.

Sometimes, this bonus is beyond reach. Sometimes, it seems within our reach.

At the same time the bonus appears, one apple will appear too.

I have to eat the apple b4 the bonus to get extra 9 points.

The apple distracts me. I wanna eat the apple, gain extra 9 points, den eat the bonus.

I wanted the best of both worlds.

The temporary incentive causes me to lose my head.

I've forgotten that the bonus earns more points than the apple.

Very often, after eating the apple, it becomes too late for me to eat the bonus.


The ugly side of human surfaces in such a simple game like this. All of us have long term goals, jus like my long term goal when playing snake is to eat as many bonus in the shortest time possible. Temporary temptations stand in our way towards our goal. Being greedy, we think that we can have the temptation and still reach our goal. Sadly, these temptations are detours or another route that deviates us from our long term goals. Jus like this girl who has a 5 yr r/s w her bf. A temporary temptation caused her to two time her bf. How can u have the best of the worlds, or rather, 2 guys? She has lost sight of her long term goal. She will regret forever for giving in to temptation.
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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

爱我的人和我爱的人

There is a difference between the person I love and the person who loves me.
I chanced upon this song, and it really stirs up my emotions.
Though I dun really understand the meaning (why the guy likes her but doesnt want to be with her)
Haha try n understand ba.

[我爱的人:]
盼不到我爱的人
我知道我愿意再等
疼不了爱我的人
片刻柔情它骗不了人
我不是无情的人
却将你伤的最深
我不忍我不能
别再认真忘了我的人

[爱我的人:]
离不开我爱的人
我知道爱需要缘分
放不下爱我的人
因为了解他多么认真
为什么最真的心
碰不到最好的人
我不问我不能
拥在怀中直到他变冷

爱我的人为我痴心不悔
[我爱的人:]
我却为我爱的人
甘心一生伤悲
在乎的人始终不对
谁对谁不必虚伪

爱我的人为我付出一切
[我爱的人:]
我却为我爱的人
流泪狂乱心碎
爱与被爱同样受罪
为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围

I think this is tooo cheem. haha.
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Why do ppl want to deceive themselves

Because it makes them feel better.

Simple as that.
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Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Nash Equilibrium

While discussing exam papers with my friends today, I made an important discovery.

Girls, imagine yourself as a guy, in a group of guys.

Facing you are 3 pretty girls.

The first girl is pretty, clever, slim, lovable... everything u ask for in a girl.

The second girl isn't as good as the first, and the third not as good as the second.

Who will you choose? The prettiest one?

Now, you have to note that there're hundreds of guys vying for her.

Knowing that you stand a lower chance of getting her (afterall u arent tt great either)

Will you settle for the second best? She's not that bad after all..

Nash equilibrium teaches us in real life, we tend to settle for the second or third best because we know that chances of getting the best is slim.

Finally, I understood why no one seems interested in me.


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Monday, November 01, 2004

Are you sure you know what is love?

You think you know what true love is.

"Till death do us part.."

Bahhhhh.

All of us love our friends and boyfriends for a reason.

"because she was there for me.." "because he treats me well.."

This is not true love.

Ask your mommy why she loves you.

She will most probably say "because you are my daughter."

Even if one day, you become a murderer, your mother will still love you.

Because, she never had a reason for loving you.

True love is unconditional.

One day, when you begin to love your boyfriend for no reason, even if he hits you,

you know you have found your true love.

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Get Real! : Cheating Hearts

Did anyone of you watch Get Real! on saturday?
The topic that day was extra-maritial affairs -- how to handle them.
In one of the interviews, there was this lady whose husband has been keeping a mistress for 3 years.
And she's not going to divorce him -- for her children's sake and her own sake.
How sad that is.
Everytime her husband comes home late, she knows that he has been with that woman, but she can't do anything about it because she wants to keep the family together.

Question: How many times are you willing to forgive your husband for his infidelity?

Your answer will probably be different when this happens to you.

This is what love does to you.

Lessons learnt : (1) Guys are all jerks. (2) Motherly love overcomes everything. (3) Guys' existence in this world is meaningless.
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